Daddy Quarantine

Posted by Mission Commander on August 15, 2015 in SITREPs |

Mission DTG: 14AUG15 2200HRS

Location: FOB Livingroom

Biological warfare has struck the command post this week. Early on I began to show symptoms of a cold, and as the days went by my condition only got worse before it eventually started to get better. We were able to maintain our regular Op Tempo despite my illness, but unfortunately it seems that as my sickness is on the mend I have unwittingly passed it on to the Area Commander and the infant insurgent. This is especially concerning due to the newborn reinforcement on the way, as well as the indigenous insurgent not having been exposed to this sort of plague before now. Medics are on standby as the infant insurgent is under 24hr watch to ensure his condition does not deteriorate.

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Newborn Reinforcements

Posted by Mission Commander on August 2, 2015 in SITREPs |

Mission DTG: 25JUL15 2300HRS

These last eight months dealing with this infant insurgency has been nothing short of a daunting task. From sleep deprivation to biohazards, and difficulty with rations, this command position has been one like none other either the Area Commander or myself have ever encountered. It was nearly four months ago now that we received intel suggesting the infant insurgent would soon be receiving reinforcements, luckily it is only one additional insurgent and not multiple troops. Still, the arrival of another infant insurgent this early on into the insurgency will prove to be taxing on both the Area Commander and myself. The lessons learned through the time when the reinforcements show up here in our area of operations will never the less be invaluable as we prepare to deal with this new surge of infant hostiles.
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Baby Chaos Theory Pt.1

Posted by Mission Commander on July 23, 2015 in Dad Field Manual, SITREPs |

Mission DTG: 0300 22JUL2015

Location: Bedroom District

Operation Good Night has been an ongoing attempt to stabilize night time operations. The infant insurgent continues to conduct disruption operations at all hours of the night, leading to a significant impact on the Area Commander from sleep deprivation. I have been able to step in to relieve her from Command for limited periods on the weekends in an attempt to mitigate some of the effects of the sleep deprivation from Sleep Ops during the week. Various attempts have been made to influence the infant insurgent to utilize the C.R.I.B. (Comfy Really Interesting Bed) for his bed down location which has yielded only limited success so far. We are becoming convinced that an absence of night time operations is nothing more than a myth.

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New to the K9 Squad

Posted by Mission Commander on July 18, 2015 in SITREPs |

And Then There Were Four

So I know I’ve been a bit absent this past week, but only cause we’ve been a bit busy the last couple of days. I’m sure my scores of tens of fans have been eagerly awaiting a new post with baited breath, and I figured it’d only be fair to give the loyal readers an update before I get back to the usual Daddery. Read more…


5 Guidelines for Changing a Diaper

Posted by Mission Commander on July 13, 2015 in Dad Field Manual |

Every Diaper an Adventure

So last night my wife and son are sound asleep in bed with the mutts when I finally get done working on the blog and came to bed. All is well for a little bit, despite some rumblings from the mutts, and then it happens. I’m awoken from the edge of sleep as my wife sits up to change the little minion quickly there on the bed in the hopes that a fresh diaper will help him get back to sleep. Unfortunately she decided to forgo one of the cardinal rules of diaper changes, and as Murphy will tell you: the worst will happen when you least expect.

And that’s exactly what happened to my wife. Read more…

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Hospital Checklist

Posted by Mission Commander on July 12, 2015 in Essential Hospital Gear |

What do I need to survive delivery?!

Okay fella’s, the Mission Commander has done his due diligence, put in countless man-hours in research to bring you this critical information. If you’re at all like me, when the time to head to the hospital started getting close you did what most modern dads do: you hit up the googles.

If you do a search for ‘what to bring to the hospital for delivery’ you’ll find all sorts of articles telling that sweet little babymaker about everything she’ll need when the time comes. That’s great, cool, solid copy right? Don’t get me wrong, all of that stuff is super important. In fact, stop what you’re doing right now and go pack her hospital bag. It’s cool, I’ll wait. Don’t tell me you don’t know what needs to go in her bag. You don’t? Fine, let’s start with that and get it out of the way, it’ more important than your bag anyways. Read more…

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A Boy and His Dog

Posted by Mission Commander on July 4, 2015 in SITREPs |

DTG: 03JUL15 1900HRS

Location: FOB Homestead

Status report on the effectiveness of K9 teams on local operations. During the initial phases of Operation Enduring Baby it seemed as though the resident K9 squad remained largely indifferent to the infant insurgent now in their midst. Their ability to detect IEDs (improvised explosive diapers) seemed almost non-existent, but it was the handler’s assessment that the amount of random noise coming from him likely drove them back to a distance they could not effectively operate from. Unfortunately, two members of the K9 team were retired early in the early phase of the operation, and a new K9 was brought in to backfill. The new K9, codename Gunner, has adapted superbly to his role here in operations. His ability to detect explosive material is seemingly uncanny, while his protective instincts have seemed to be on point from his arrival in this area of operations. Read more…

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The Importance of Solo Time with the Offspring

Posted by Mission Commander on June 30, 2015 in SITREPs |

Dad Time

No, I’m not talking about hanging out with The Offspring, I’m talking about your offspring. Working full time during the week and the occasional long days at work limit the time I get to spend with my son. Most of that time in the evenings is spent tag-teaming baby duties with my wife, so his attention is usually split between us until he goes to sleep. While there’s certainly nothing wrong with that, at times I am envious of the one-on-one time my wife gets to spend with him during the week while I’m at work (at least when he’s not hangry or tired, she can have that time).

On the weekends however, I try and get in some solo time with my little man every chance that I get. Are there a million other things I’d like to do on the weekends in my off time like marathon a TV show I want to get caught up on, or watch a good horror flick since my wife refuses to watch scary movies? Definitely. Would I like to spend time working on promoting my new blog, writing new articles, or working on the site coding on the back end? You bet. But all that takes second fiddle to getting to spend time alone with my son for a little while. Read more…

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Beware the Sleep Deprived Mother

Posted by Mission Commander on June 25, 2015 in Dad Field Manual |

Mission DTG: 24JUN15 2000HRS
Location: FOB Livingroom

The Area Commander has been suffering from sleep deprivation due to the increased operations tempo of the infant insurgent. The past few nights we’ve been seeing increased activity much earlier in the morning, with fewer and shorter periods of downtime in between patrols during the day. Most days I am able to convoy back to the FOB in order to take over command of the TBOC (Tactical Baby Operations Center) so she can recuperate and re-energize, but yesterday the situation in the field prevented me from making it back in time. As of late I’ve noticed this pattern of sleep deprivation has left the Area Commander more agitated and quick to reprimand while I am taking care of administrative duties around the TBOC. Maybe it’s time for some command directed resiliency training.

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Baby Food Menu – Infant Chow Line

Posted by Mission Commander on June 24, 2015 in Dad Field Manual |

Mission DTG: 23JUN15 1900HRS

Location: Kitchen District
Within recent months the Area Commander advised me on the need to change our plan for ration support to the little local from liquid supplementation to something more solid. Our first attempts at offering the temperamental little person a different form of ration was met initially with resistance, but over time he has begun to come around to the new concept. While I suspect this new form of ration support has somehow led to the recent increase in IEDs (improvised explosive diapers), I am told we must still press on and continue the mission. I’ve advised the Area Commander as to the risks and possible safeguards we should implement during this phase of the mission, but it seems despite all safeguards the local infant insurgent is still finding ways to make a mess of things.

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