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Day 10 of the Infant Insurgency (Surprise Attack)

Posted by Mission Commander on June 21, 2015 in SITREPs |

Day 10 of the infant insurgency, 0100 hrs: the Baby Force Commander had just finished delivering rations to the local before turning control over to me to conduct Burp Ops. During operations an explosive diaper was triggered. The QRDF (Quick Reaction Diaper Force) was alerted to neutralize the device. Intel suggested the infant insurgent was planning a spectacular attack during the diaper change causing the Diaper Protection Condition (DPCON) to be raised to its highest level. During the change a protective device was placed over the insurgents firing device. Protective measures were a success, as the surprise pee stream and secondary poosplosion were contained with limited splash damage.


Sure enough, not twelve hours after the first post on social media and already some more entertaining material to share with everyone in my social circle. I was once again on late night baby duty so that my wife could try and get some somewhat continuous sleep in between feedings. Naturally, I’m a late night kind of guy anyways so I figured it would be nothing to volunteer for late night duty while I was home from work on paternity leave. So there I was, sitting on the couch watching who knows what at two in the morning after ‘the incident’ occurred, and as the little insurgent slumbered on my chest I guess I figured ‘hey might as well post about it!’.

I was a bit surprised at how well this second status update was received when I took a look at it the next day. My intent in the style of writing it had been to make it humorous while being something my fellow veterans could relate to. It was nice to see that even my friends who were not veterans but also parents themselves found it to be pretty funny. Don’t get me wrong, my wife often loves to tell me “You aren’t as funny as you think you are” (I’m sure she jests) , but I like to think this keeps me humble in my sense of how funny I am at any given moment. While that certainly doesn’t stop me from posting things simply for the fact that I chuckled when I read it, I at least hope somebody else will get a chuckle out of it as well. So I was pleasantly surprised when during a trip home over Christmas various Aunts/Uncles/Cousins were telling me about how funny they thought my little status posts about the baby were.

Of course, my wife would say there’s no need to encourage me when it comes to these kinds of things, but none the less I began to think that maybe there is more to this than just getting a few chuckles on social media…

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