Day 9 of the Infant Insurgency (The Beginning of OEB)

Posted by Mission Commander on June 20, 2015 in SITREPs |

November 14th, 2014:

Day 9 of the infant occupation: the tiny insurgent had nailed my co-commander with a dual threat poop-pee attack while she was on solo watch. After I joined her on the watch we were alerted to another possible IED (improvised explosive diaper). As we investigated, the little insurgent triggered his secondary device, attempting to hose us down with pee. He got a good arc and distance on it, but my mongoose like reflexes got me out of the line of fire just in time.

This was the first status post I had posted on social media while on paternity leave following the birth of our first son (herein referred to as the infant insurgent). We had only been home from the hospital for a couple of days and by this point the in-laws had all headed back home and we were on our own. I believe it was my sister-in-law who commented on it first, telling us we should be blogging. When I wrote the post at 2pm that I had only been awake for a couple of hours after being up late with the baby and was being regaled by the tale of what had happened while I had been asleep. Naturally, I thought it was pretty funny, and like many in this modern age of social media I felt the need to share what had happened with everyone I knew if only for the humor of it. But then I thought to myself, everyone has seen the generic ‘aww man I got pee’d on’ post from new parents before, that was all ‘old-hat’ if you will. I needed a different take on it if I wanted anyone to actually read it and enjoy the humor of it as I had. Thus, I took to writing it in a language that I knew many of my veteran/parent friends would instantly understand. I figured it was a once-off thing, but little did I know that not twelve hours later I would already have material for more.

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